I thought I had written more here but in fact had only come up with a title.
I think I have entered the battle phase of my sickness. For about a week now it has been harder and harder to eat. My throat hurts when I swallow, but the worst is the smell.
When you bring food to your mouth the Medulla Oblongata, i.e. the lower half of the brain stem, get’s all jiggy from food-related sensory input. The feel of food in the mouth or thoughts related to food send signals to the medulla to stimulate the release of pepsin and hydrochloric acid, both stomach chemicals which play a critical role in the digestion of your baconeggandbean burrito.
But what happens when your Medula gets all all spazzed out by the cancer meds? In my case every time I bring food near my mouth I smell this smell, this nauseating smell, which turns off my yum-yum food receptors and turns on my stand-back-this-dude-is-going-to-puke alarms.
I have a theory.
Because of drugs and or surgery, my taste & smell tackle has been effectively closed down. However I theorize that there is a fundamental, basic – if you like, odor and taste on which others are based.
This rudimentary taste, let us call it that pukeydeadhedgehog smell, is the only thing you smell. I was filling up with Costco’s 93 octane the other day and I took a whiff of the gas/petrol and even it smelled of pukeydeadhedgehog. Petroleum products, as you know, have a very strong odor mostly because they are made from gigantichedgehogs. But my own pukeydeadhedgehog smell quickly over-rode the other, prehistoric, smell.
So this is where I hypothesize more… Except I can’t because I feel like shit, my brain hurts, my throat hurts, my skin is dry, I am constipated, I find it hard to swallow, I can’t remember the last real meal I had.
Thank God there is a gradual build-up to this stage. If you just went from well to this you surely would end it all right immediately! But there is a build up and it creeps up behind you till you get to this day.
Thankfully this too shall pass. And within a month or so I’ll be eating and drinking and singing ancient songs of my people that tell tales of giant hedgehogs and their inevitable demise.
And I’m svelte – did I say that? Shit yeah.