It’s been a month to the day since I had surgery. The first two weeks were pretty awful. It was hard to sleep, eat and drink. But the last two weeks have been pretty good.
For one thing I look pretty healthy. I’ve lost about 18lbs and have been eating less, hardly drinking any booze and generally taking it easy and getting lots of rest. My appearance and sangfroid seems to unnerve people. I feel as if they are looking at me and thinking….
“Cancer? The dude looks fine. WTF? I look worse than him! Shit – maybe I have cancer? OMG I need to sit down. I have fucking cancer!”
I should ripost “I’m sorry I don’t look sick. I know you can’t see any scars. I was pretty bad after surgery. You should have seen me then when I had tubes stuck in every orifice. Then I looked cancery. Now I just look gorgeous.”
I remember when my former neighbor had cancer. I was in the middle of getting divorced. I had moved out before I knew she was sick. I had to call her about something.
“Hi Linda, how are you doing?”
“I’m fine except for the fact I have fucking cancer!”
“Yes, I know. I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say. How are you?”
And so it went. All I could do was sound like an idiot.
She never liked me anyway. I’m not saying that gave her cancer, but you have to wonder.